As a girl, I know what it's like to want to be the skinniest you can be. I don't know why we get into this mindset, but we do. We all do.
After I had my second child, all I wanted was to get my body back to where it was before I had kids. Eventually I got determined to accomplish that goal and began starving myself and watching the pounds fall off. When I finally reached that goal, I began to realize how extreme I had to be to maintain the unrealistic goal I had set for myself. I wasn't able to consume more that 600 calories per day. Anytime I ate anything bad, I immediately felt guilty. I weighed myself daily and deprived myself of food. I was obsessed.
Over time, this lifestyle started taking a tole on me. It was such a gradual thing that I didn't realize how terrible I was feeling. I enjoyed being skinny and that was all I cared about. Then eventually I started to realize how out of shape I was. How bad my cardio was. I started noticing that I just didn't feel good most of the time. I was usually freezing. I couldn't keep my body temperature comfortable. I was moody (probably because I was hungry, haha). I would get up off the couch and get winded. I began having anxiety. I could keep going......
I remember thinking that I was too young to feel like this. And I'm skinny, so I'm healthy. Right? Wrong! I wasn't physically active. And I was practically starving myself every day to be thin.
Finally I decided to start exercising. This was super hard because as I increased my fitness level, and gained muscle, some of my clothes started to fit tighter and that number was going up on the scale. But I felt so good. Better than I could remember feeling in years. So I kept going. I had a daily battle with myself over the change in my size. But when I deprived myself of the appropriate amount of calories, I would feel sick during and after a workout. Eventually I got so tired of that sick feeling, that I quit trying to be an unhealthy skinny me. Now my focus is on being a FIT me. And I have to say, it's still hard sometimes to be ok with that. But I won't go back to that unhealthy lifestyle ever again.
I know that I'm not the only girl in the world that has struggled with this. I know that so many of us desire to be at an unrealistic weight or size, and take drastic measures to get there. Let me tell you.....it is WAY more fun to be fit and healthy and feel good, and be a healthy realistic weight, than it ever was for me to be unhealthy and super skinny.
There is a good chance that if you are struggling with this, you are lying to yourself about it. You tell yourself you eat....tell yourself you're not too thin....tell yourself you get plenty of exercise because of (insert reason here).... It's time to face the truth. And if you're just starting out on a weight loss journey, or in the middle of one, I pray that you pay attention to this and don't let yourself fall into this way of thinking. Think healthy thoughts.
Be happy with healthy! Stop trying to be skinny and focus on being fit and healthy! Skinny is NOT fit.